Remember that often the simplest data are the ones that are forgotten before and those that make you lose the innocence and attention of the first days. I have heard them, or phrases like them, frequently throughout my 40-year career. Although pain, sadness, frustration, disappointment, and disappointment have the potential to be the underlying cause, it is never okay to treat another with this level of cruelty. “You are impressively narcissistic. Your personality is to care only about yourself.” «If people really knew who you are, you wouldn’t go out of your way to convince them that you’re someone essential.» «It’s no wonder every relationship you’ve ever been in has failed.»
They are a section that is required to increase understanding and change negative habits. When you create a positive resolution, you help a relationship grow and progress. Statements that are much more destructive to relationships include those that kill one’s character or undermine one’s self-esteem.
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It is not exactly the same to see yourself for a while on the weekend than to carry it out all year round, day and night. Suddenly, there are things that start to bother you, especially prayers that your sweetheart affirms. «Healthy and lasting relationships compromise that the two people are able to thrive together,» says Wong. There is no doubt that with the passage of time we are changing and new interests may begin to emerge. No, you don’t have to look for an ulterior motive that your partner suddenly likes Korean cinema, maybe it’s just that he didn’t know about it before. «The crowd that wants to build a future with their partners brings them into their lives, they don’t keep them separate as if they were something else,» explains Eliza Boquin, from the Center for Comfort and Relationships.
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Couples who feel their feelings of worth are at risk often turn around and try to make the other feel eliminated and worthless as well. Whenever people feel insecure and in danger of being controlled, they often seek to rob the other of their security. If they can get the other person to doubt their thoughts and feelings, they feel much stronger and much more in control. Fortunately, just by being witnessed and challenged, some couples are quick to see what they do to each other and to the relationship. They have realized how bad things have gotten, but they have not known how to stop the decline they are creating.
The problem arises from the fact that I notice that he avoids introducing me to his friends. And when we go out and she posts something on Instagram she never mentions me, like if she was alone or with friends. This anguishes me and I don’t know if it’s a problem or if it’s just me seeing strange things where there aren’t any. It is really difficult to be able to face a situation of such intensity, they have been together for years and he does not want to have a child… because now he has a daughter with another woman.
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Do not make the mistake of considering ending the relationship through a phone call, an email, an article message or WhatsApp. «It’s essential to keep the focus of the discussion on your claims rather than pointing out your partner’s flaws in order to provide an opportunity for them to make a positive change in their behavior,» Gilbert continues. He replaces ‘you never tell me I’m attractive’ with ‘I wish you would occasionally notice that I’ve dolled up’. Don’t be alarmed either, it’s normal to have clashes with your partner occasionally.
“Your goal should be to support your partner and cheer them up during really tough times, not make them feel bad,” says marital therapist Becky Whetstone. Be careful, even if he has really done something crazy or taken an attitude that is not typical of his frequent behavior, personal attacks such as ‘but how have you been so stupid? ‘, ‘yes… you’re just like your mother’ or ‘but what kind of father does something like that? ‘, they only lead to disrespect, disqualifications and pointless discussions that will make your partner feel like a total failure, even after having screwed it up. The art of pretending to listen when you don’t know anything is useful for business meetings, family meals or having a chat with tiresome friends, but you can play it as a couple.
«Healthy relationships have confrontation,» teaches, via Oprah Daily, Stephanie Wijkstrom, a psychotherapist and founder of The Comfort Center of Pittsburgh. «A normal dose of conflict reveals that you are investing time and energy in growing the relationship.» Without this kind of clash, the couple does not grow and everything stagnates.
However, if you are looking for words to end a toxic relationship, you may have to be much more careful with the phrases you choose. Indeed, you must be very stable and clear, even if they are to say them to yourself. Otherwise, you will continue to nurture a relationship that is not good.