Training for the entrance exam writing test –

Today, In Brazil, high crime rates committed committed by young people is a national problem, thinking about it Wchamber of Dputm (under discussion) an open question in our society(:) will reducing the age of criminal responsibility solve these high rates of delinquency committed by young people under 18?

There are those who approve and those who disapprove of this controversial law, because reducing the age of criminal responsibility from 18 to 16 is perhaps not such a good idea and for many it is unfeasible, Brazil has the fourth largest prison population in the world, this ranking is led by United State, (.) having so many prisoners behind bars the problems become evident, as we all know the uprisings that occurred at the beginning of the year in national prisons(,) mainly in Maranhão, if gave gave due to the lack of infrastructure in the system, which has long been in poor condition, and without expansion measures, the prisoner population today exceeds the number of places offered.

The high rate of crimes occurring in the country is not just due to offenders in minors (deity) but also by adults. Today young people are(,) to thes eyes to see of organized crime(,) a means of circumventing the law, and when arrested they will not go to jail, thus reducing the age of criminal responsibility, will lead to young people entering drug trafficking and the world of crime at an increasingly younger age., soon (.) reduce the older age majority Criminal law will not solve the serious problems that Brazil suffers as a result of organized crime.

Therefore a better way to control O the entry of young people into the world (of) crime is the creation of more effective public policies(,) as a differentiated education in cities where there is a higher incidence of these types of infractions, the government should also rectify some ECA laws, aiming to reduce these crimes, it is also worth highlighting that a more active participation of parents is fundamental for the exit of young people in this world of crime.

Broker reviews

Pay attention to punctuation, number agreement (singular and plural) and gender (masculine and feminine), correct spelling of words and cohesion in sentences.

The text addresses the proposed topic in a clear and objective way, although a little superficial, without detailing data and explaining some arguments in a well-founded and convincing way.

Keep practicing your writing.

Skills assessed

Item Note Appropriateness to the Theme Evaluates whether the text can explore the possibilities of ideas that the theme favors. As in the entrance exam, the essay that goes beyond the topic is eliminated. 2.0 Adequacy and Critical Reading of the Collection Evaluates whether the text can understand the assumptions of the collection, as well as make a relationship between the points of view presented and other sources of reference. 1.0 Appropriateness to the Textual Genre Evaluates whether the text adequately employs the characteristics of the textual genre and whether it is able to use them in a conscious and enriching way in the service of the text project. 1.5 Adequacy to the standard form of the language Assesses whether the text is competent in the written form. In this way, it verifies the morphological, synthetic, semantic and orthographic domain. 1.0 Cohesion and Coherence Evaluates whether the text has mastered the processes of predication, phrasal construction, paragraphing and vocabulary. In addition to the correct use of punctuation marks and textual articulation elements. 1.0 FINAL GRADE: 6.5 Find out how grades are classified 0.0 – Bad 0.5 – Poor 1.0 – Good 1.5 – Very good 2.0 – Excellent