Sex addiction is often talked about jokingly. In fact, it is a real disease (technical term: hypersexuality) that can make life very difficult for those affected. FITBOOK explains where to draw the line between active and pathological sexuality and what therapy options there are.
The best-known case of sex addiction is probably that of professional golfer Tiger Woods (43). After numerous infidelities, he publicly admitted to having betrayed his family and disappointed fans that he was ill. In an attempt to save his marriage, he entered inpatient therapy. He and Elin Pernilla (39) have been separated since 2010.
There was hardly any sympathy for Woods, who lost several sponsorship contracts shortly after his sex addiction confession. This could (also) have been due to the fact that the disease was not officially defined as such at the time. This changed in July 2018, when the World Health Organization (WHO) recognized hypersexuality as a mental disorder.
Golfer Tiger Woods has made more headlines for his personal life than for his sporting achievements for a whilePhoto: Getty Images
What does sex addiction mean?
Strictly speaking, the name sex addiction is incorrect. The clinical picture is rather a kind of compulsive behavior or impulse control disorder. The technical term hypersexuality is therefore more correct, although sex addiction is understood and remains in use.
Sexuality takes up a lot of space in the lives of those affected. Depending on the severity of the illness, they may find it difficult to lead a normal social life and attend to everyday responsibilities (such as their work). In a constant thirst for pacification, they invest a lot of time in the consumption of pornography, masturbation and – if available – intercourse with preferably changing partners. Sex becomes a useful thing for addicts, whose dose they have to increase more and more (in this respect they are comparable to alcohol or drug addicts) in order to feel anything. Reliability and loyalty become a challenge.
What symptoms can indicate the disorder?
A concrete demarcation from active sexuality is difficult. Someone is not automatically sex addicted because they often think about sex (“normal” men and women supposedly do that between 10 and 20 times a day), like to watch porn and often, or because they sleep with a partner several times a day want. On the other hand, if watching sex films or excessive fantasies takes up several hours a day and appointments are therefore ignored, this could already be a symptom. The same applies when people compulsively constantly need new partners because they quickly lose their appeal. Doctors speak of a tolerance development.
The main symptom is loss of control, i.e. that patients can no longer suppress their urges. As a result, they allow themselves to be carried away into sexual acts, even if this could have undesirable consequences for them (and/or those around them).
Spending several hours a day consuming porn films is considered a possible symptom of a so-called sex addictionPhoto: Getty Images
How does the disease come about?
As difficult as it is to define reliable signs, so are the causes of sex addiction. Scientists assume that those affected often have a certain predisposition or develop a disturbed relationship to sexuality due to traumatic experiences (e.g. in childhood). But the way society deals with the topic also plays a role. The easy availability of pornography, but also of non-committal sexual relations, has created a certain deadening of the public. It feels less reprehensible to «use» sex as something practical, functional.
Is Sex Addiction Curable?
Hypersexuality does not usually heal itself. No randomized controlled trials on effective psychotherapeutic procedures for hypersexuality have been conducted. Individual psychological support is therefore usually necessary in order to understand the role played by sex in the patient in question. Does the stimulation serve to suppress other problems – and if so, which ones? What does this compensate for and what serves as a trigger? Recognition as a mental disorder by the WHO means that the health insurance company supports those affected in their search for therapists and, under certain circumstances, also bears the costs.
The goal of therapy is not to break the habit of having sex with those affected. However, with the right commitment, they can learn to better control their urges and feel real pleasure and intimacy again.
Unfortunately, if you are looking for help, you will not find it so easily on the Internet. Those affected can, for example, contact the Berlin State Office for Addiction Questions.
Technical advice from Prof. Dr. medical Hans Moises, specialist in psychiatry and psychotherapy from Frankfurt am Main.